ooh, virtual shopping spree

Yeah, what with me turning 31 (31, oh man, this aint good) sooner than I'd like I thought a mini wishlist round up would not be innapropriate, it's like fantasy football!

Books, of course! This one looks hilarious, I need it! shame this isn't out till September... it's the end of the world (quick, buy this and bake a cake)  This is plain disturbing, but yet I find myself sort of wanting a copy.  And finally, how cute is this? seriously.

 Other assorted kitchen tat... ooh, I love this! not to mention this less flimsy version, I actually tore a page out of a waiting room magazine for this (no pen), love it very much! (eh, ok, getting less butch by the second!)

 T shirts, since I'm now not actually the size of a small country I want people to know what I'm thinking! through every teenaged boys friend, the t shirt (what were you thinking?)

 oh no!! I have THE GAY!!  This could be very handy... *snorts* always liked this one. Rofl!
  ooh.. this I really like, am also amused and delighted by this one.  These two here and here are also pretty nifty.  On a related note, Teresa needs this one! roflmao.  Not at all gay, but loving this, this, this and this!

 Then the randoms... so damn cool, really, I'd like this framed on my wall. This is rather nice too... but I already have a lot of shiny stuff I dont wear. More lovely shinies. Oh yeah, love this one, would wear that! (I think, it's hard to know what makes me look girlier than I'd like without trying it on) same disclaimer applies here.  Nice, but I'm not sure about the little crystals (it's a minefield, I'm telling you!)

 I also want my tattoo, but that's a gift to myself that I'll do after my surgeries are finished.  I want a large, black phoenix across my shoulders, coming down over the tops of my arms.  Nothing if not ambitious I guess, hope I like pain.  Couple more piercings too and a nice watch, I have no watch right now and rely on my ultra accurate body clock (and ultra aged mobile phone) to get me by.
 mmm, virtual spree, I love it.

Teff the wonder grain

Mmm... teff, it's my new bestest kitchen buddy.  Sadly I might as well admit that I have no pictures from today's baking efforts, only a pile of crumbs and a half empty (or half full maybe?) butter dish.

 I've been busy with the B2/M2 project, adding the grand central baking company book to the list of keepers (made chocolate and cocoa nib tea shortbreads, chocolate chip & oatmeal cookies as well as peanut butter cookies, all very good, especially the cocoa nib shortbread) and made one item from good to the grain, brown butter and teff scones.

 So crumbly, so delicious.  I also chucked some teff into my standard bread recipe, very nice! adds a sort of country'ish sour tang to the bread and the crust was fab.

 I have plans to expand this teff experimentation, I'm thinking it's make a really good addition to banana loaf cakes or digestive biscuits (the scones had that kind of nutty/sweet thing going on, could totally be exploited and served with cheese) maybe, I've seen a recipe for a teff chocolate cake too.

 Aside from the fun in the kitchen? you might well ask.  I practised putting up my tent for the festival and was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to put up and how big it is inside! I was planning to sleep out in it last night but it came on pouring rain and I took the (not very butch I'll admit) soft option and crawled off to my cosy bed instead.

 I'm now sitting here trying to think of things to add to my 101 list, I am assured it'll cure the huge, stinking cloud of black depression slight gloom that has descended on me the last couple of days.  However, beyond a new lame for slashing my loaves I'm struggling, lol.

A geek and her list....

Not the 101 list, no, 'fraid not.  But another list, nothing makes a geeky boy/girl happier than cataloguing or alphabetising some random collection.

 Today it was books, I went all crazy and paid the princely sum of 64p for a years unlimited membership at librarything and have been merrily uploading books ever since. For those interested enough my catalogue is here.  Still not finished, but getting better!

 No photos, but much baking... I get so demotivated when it comes to pictures, bit of grey sky and a chill in the air and I get put off! however I did bake a gorgeous lemon and polenta cake from the river cafe a few days ago.  Very nice in a homey kind of way, but it could be dressed up with some raspberries.  It's winter here so we had it with vanilla bean mascarpone.  Next time I think I'll make a lemon syrup to drizzle on top, it was moist and lovely but not quite lemony enough.

phew...
 bread thing went off ok, was scared witless  of course, but they were a friendly crowd and nobody pelted me with eggs, tomatoes or bread samples.  Next time I think I'd try and work out what I was going to say before I get there, winging it was ok, but I think it could be improved on. 
 It's always amazing to me the variety of people you meet at that kind of thing, I guess this is what people with real lives and jobs call networking! I call it meeting people, but that's 'cause I'm too shy to network, I mean, who knows where that kind of thing could lead?  There was nice jewellery, bread, coffee and interesting people, what more could I ask from my morning? well, I guess I could think of a few things, but not much! 

 I was so tired this morning that I slept in, missed bodypump (aww man, I hate missing the gym) and nearly lost my space in the class, I got a nice girl on the phone though who fixed it, nice girl, will take her cookies next week, a permanent space in class is like hens teeth.

 Then, after crawling out of bed feeling fat and lazy, what then? we went to the playpark, came home, I made granola and the supper and that was pretty much it, way to live it up eh?

 Tomorrow, well, it's another day.  I think I'm going to skip Lighterlife this week, I feel really fat, really, just icky.  Going to stick in at the gym, take my happy pills and pray for a miracle for next week instead.  Oh, and stop beating myself up so much too! after all, 11.13 stone is an awfull lot less that I used to weigh, even if it's a little more than I want to weigh now.  I found this post on saying enough!  through an email list, I love it, I mean, ok, it's a wee bit corny I guess, but the message is good.

 Enough beating up on myself
 Enough of feeling bad 'cause I'm different, we all are!
 Enough of punishing myself for mistakes made in the past
 Enough of looking at my body and feeling disgusted
 Enough of fearing my future
 Enough being lonely
 Enough with secrets
 Enough of not celebrating my freakishness! lol

 I'm nearly 31, I'm going to start celebrating! eh, not sure yet exactly what I'm going to do for my birthday, but I want to not let it just slip past.  Actually, on thinking about it perhaps I will let it slip past, save whatever I might have spent for my trip to the GoGo festival! eep, I'm stewarding and am stupid excited.  I have my tent (need to practise putting it up, do not want to make an idiot of myself) and am slowly figuring out what else I need to take.  I need to sort out a liftshare as the price of petrol is seriously worrying me right now, and it might be sort of fun to pick up some total strangers and share car time with them? maybe? 'cause of me being such a social butterfly and all.

mmm... bread

Yeah, just say it (inside your head please) in a homer'esque tone, y'know, mmmm.... doughnuts.

 I do respect and cherish fried dough, but bread is the start of all that is good.  I bake for fun, when I'm sad, when I'm celebrating and on other days that end in a y.  Today I'm busy baking for a talk (meeting, discussion, hmm, not sure, but I'm nervous! lol) I'm helping do (co-doing, hosting? uh, never mind) as samples speak louder than words where food is concerned, I mean, ever been to costco on a Sunday? if so you know what I mean, lol, I'm taking bread.

So, first up, sour cherry and rosemary focaccia...

This is so delicious! It makes a nifty breakfast on the run and if there are leftovers then it’s gorgeous in bread and butter pudding.

500g flour, 00 if you have it, but otherwise 400g bread flour and 100g plain flour mixed will be just fine
20g fresh yeast
5g (1tsp) salt
300ml body temperature water
Big pinch of sugar
4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
One jar of sour cherries, drained (the ones from lidl are great) or fresh cherries stoned if they’re in season
A little chopped rosemary and flaky salt

In a large bowl mix together the flour, yeast, salt, , water, sugar and olive oil. It’ll come together into a rough dough. If you have a stand mixer leave it to knead until soft, smooth and silky. Otherwise roll up your sleeves and dig in! just keep pushing, squashing, folding and turning until it feels springy and sort of alive under your hands.

Pop it in a bowl that you’ve lightly oiled and leave it to rise for a hour or so, until about doubled in size.
Turn it out onto a baking sheet sprinkled with cornmeal (yellow cornmeal or polenta is available in real foods or most supermarkets) and just gently push it out like a pizza base. With your fingertips gently push small dimples into the dough. Then scatter the cherries on top, pushing them in slightly. Drizzle with olive oil then scatter with rosemary, flaky salt and a little sugar.

 Leave it to rise for 40 minutes, meanwhile heat the oven to 200.  Bake the bread for 30 ~ 35 minutes, until golden and crisp looking on top.

You can vary the toppings any way you like, grapes work with the salty/sweet topping here. But ditch the sugar, add feta and sliced, fried onions for a savoury bread, or nothing at all but oil and salt. I really like it with some ricotta cheese on top (just little lumps of it) and a drizzle of honey…

Then the country loaf I already posted a recipe for and, A Lovely White Loaf ('cause sometimes soft, pillowy sandwich bread, floury crusted and perfect for strawberry jam is a nice change)

25g fresh yeast
1 tsp sugar
About 600ml warm water
1kg bread flour
2 tsp salt
3 tbsp olive oil

Combine the flour, salt, sugar and yeast in a large bowl, pour in the water and olive oil. Use a spoon to make a rough dough that sticks together, then once it does drop it out on the table.
Flour only very lightly if you have to… knead for 10 minutes, a radio helps! Three/four songs on a cd is long enough usually (plus it gives you some rhythm! Lol) it should feel tight, springy and lively at the end, the surface should be smooth.
Oil a bowl lightly and place the dough in it, turning to oil the whole ball. Leave covered to rise for around an hour.
Knead the dough gently for a few minutes and shape into loaves that fit your tins, mine is giant and takes all the dough, but two or four smaller ones will work fine. Flour the top lightly. You could also make some of this bread dough into rolls, just divide into smaller pieces, roll into balls and bake on cookie sheets.
Leave to rise for 15~30 minutes while you preheat the oven to 220.
Place the bread in the oven and bake for 10 minutes, then lower the temperature to 180 and bake for another 20~25 minutes.
Carefully tip the bread out onto a rack, then put it back in the oven without its tin for 5 minutes to crisp the crust up. Cool completely before slicing (or rip apart and eat hot with butter and jam, up to you really).

Making Bubber!

Or, for the rest of the people out there who aren't two and can pronounce hard consonants, butter.  Squiddy miss says bubber (and biber which is, spider, of course) and says it loud, she loves butter on bread, butter on crackers, butter on her paws if she's unsupervised near the butter dish long enough.  Anyhow, enough with that.  I bought some nearly out of date cream and decided that a rainy day mummy/daughter kitchen moment might be fun, of course my kid mostly likes pounding (or throwing, but that ain't so useful in the kitchen) things, so we decided on butter.



 It is so easy and fun and a great way to make use of short dated cream, or even out of date if it passes the sniff/lick test.  We made the butter and with the resulting buttermilk a batch of pancakes to eat it with, waste nothing! lol.

 Only the sketchiest attempt at a recipe, it's nursery school stuff.  Pour your double cream into a mixer or food processor, whip like crazy! It will overwhip, turn grainy then go splat.  Once it's splatted you will see golden chunks of butter floating in the buttermilk.  Drain off the buttermilk and wash your butter in iced water, to remove the rest of the buttermilk, this really helps to keep it a little longer, just kind of knead it gently in a bowl of really chilled water.  Once you're happy, knead in a little flaky sea salt for salted butter, wrap and store in the fridge.  It's really sweetly creamy and fresh tasting, goes great on toast, with apricot jam *sigh* a dieter can dream right?

If you have enough minions darling children you can give them each a jar full of cream and a clean marble, secure the tops and have them labour away for hours shake the jars and gain a sense of wonder as the butter forms.  Like I say, you need a lot of kids to get your butter that way.

Day 16, See, roadside trash also a recurring theme

Day 15, burning heather on the Pentlands

Day 14, fuck, scary sign guy! I mean, would you buy a shed from him?

Day 13, more signs... love 'em, really do

a time of signs and omens...

Day 12, another sign, it's all glittery too...

Cinderella, the alternate ending...

 Yep, an inward looking therapy post, full of angst and hidden meaning (or something like that!) man, I love the internet.

 Cinderella... the way it should have ended. lol, this is a story with balls, you can read into that whatever you like.

It's two minutes past midnight, the coach has turned back into a pumpkin, mice are scuttling around, whinnying (mice aren't too bright, they need time to adjust) Cindy is standing in her rags 'n tatters wondering wtf she's going to do with 600lbs of pumpkin, whether her wicked stepmother will enjoy pumpkin pie, mousse and pound cake or whether she'll be sent to the cellar in disgrace.

 Enter, the fairy godmother, who is an old fashioned tool of the patriarchy if you ask me.  She asks how the ball went, and the crucial question, did Cindy get her prince.

 Cinderella is a smart cookie, you wouldn't think so to look at her right now, but honestly this girl is going places.  She beats the fairy godmother over the head with her remaining glass slipper and when she's down, pinches the (pink, glittery, star on top, this is a fairytale y'know) magic wand.

 Five minutes and a bit of bibbity bobbity boo later and Poof (no pun intended, honestly) Cindy (Now Steve!) is reborn as a bad ass biker dude, he turns one of the mice into a (still whinnying, sheesh, dumb mice) motorbike and rides off to find his very own happy ever after.

 He leaves a very nice recipe for pumpkin cheesecake though, just in case, he's still concerned about recycling, food waste and his carbon footprint, and no, that does not make him a girl, so there.

 The end... maybe?

How do I love thee, let me count the ways...

Lard, white gold! lol, the world has apparently remembered what they all used before goose/duck/unicorn fat got outrageously trendy.  Waitrose is selling jars of Iberican pork fat for the princely sum of £3.49 for 250g.  However, if you know a free range/organic pig person and can persuade them to hold you some back fat or leaf lard you can make your own, for free!

Recipe, eh, no.  As much pork fat as you have, diced as finely as you can be bothered.  Pop it in a large jam making pan with half a cup of water, turn the heat on.  When the water starts to boil turn the heat down and leave to render, stirring often.

 When you have mainly small pieces of crispy skin floating in a clear, slightly golden liquid you're done.  Sterilise some jars and use a bit of cheesecloth in a sieve to strain your lard.  Decant into your jars and leave to cool.

 Once chilled you have the making of the best pie crusts, cookies, cakes and doughnuts in the world.

The resulting fat is creamy white, odourless and clean to cook with... it makes for pie crusts so light and tender that they melt in your mouth.  Made a quiche today with the waitrose lard (ok, I bought it, just wanted to compare, no different to the home rendered variety!) and some leftover roast chicken.

Pastry

200g 00 flour

50g butter

50g lard

good big pinch of salt

double cream to bind

 Rub the chilled, diced fats into the flour until you have the texture of fine breadcrumbs, stir in the flour and gradually add tiny splashes of cream until your pastry comes together. 

 Form into a ball and sit on some cling film, pop more cling film on top (this pastry is fragile, hard to roll) and roll out to fit your quiche tin.  Using the cling film ease the pastry into the tin, being careful not to stretch it to fit, push gently.  Don not trim the overhang!

 Chill, overnight preferably.  Heat the oven to 190,  trim the pastry with a small, sharp knife, line with baking paper and beans then bake blind for 20 minutes.  Remove beans and paper and continue to bake for 10 minutes.

 My filling was 300ml cream, 1 whole egg and three yolks, shredded roast chicken, fried pancetta cubes, salt and pepper.  Mix the cream, eggs and seasoning.  Place the chicken and pancetta in the crust and pour the cream over (easiest to sit this on a baking sheet first!) then bake at 190 for 20 minutes then 180 for around another 15, until the filling is golden and slightly puffed up.

 Cool before eating.

lighterlife, chocolate brownies, lgbt and rambling...

Not that kind of rambling though, I hate the great outdoors.  It's cold and wet and sometimes muddy. 

 My weight loss goal is not going very well, due to a sloppy attitude and, well, the fact that I've eaten too many carbs to make my body happy (and my butt smaller) these last few weeks.

 Hmmph, I suck, I really do, I'm alright at dieting, I'm alright at sticking to it, but when I fall off the wagon I really lose it.  I feel like I've had enough of lighterlife, the total abstinence thing, I actually want to eat real food.  I'm thinner than I've ever been before and stand to lose around a stone through plastic surgery (eep! waiting for my appointment with the surgeon) so, yeah, I'm pretty happy.  Mostly I want to work on my fitness/shape.

 So... my new eating plan goes a bit like this
Breakfast ~ Porridge, the sort from the little premeasured packs
Lunch ~ protein bar (lighterlife)
Supper ~ weight watchers type ready meal
Bedtime ~ lighterlife hot chocolate
Snack ~ one pot natural, no sugar yoghurt

 We shall see, I'm freaked out about getting on the scales on Monday, but I had better just do it.

What else have I been up to? eh, not much... I went swimming, which is a huge deal for me! not been swimming for years, first because I was too fat (and feared a harpoon between my shoulder blades) and then because I was too self concious.  The local lgbt center has a swimming session at a nice (cold, icy cold) pool in Edinburgh so I went along.  Pool was icy (did I mention that?) but steam room was fabulous! I love it, when I become a millionaire I'd like one in my house!

I've been baking, a coffee cake for my aunties birthday... I love coffee cake and hardly ever get to make one!  The very nice girl from the cake shop made the bow for me, I'm not much with the fancy ribbon work! lol, shame girls in cake shops aren't all that nice, really, you'd think that cake and nice girls went together like,  well, I dunno, cake and nice girls! what's not to like?

Then a no reason whatsoever sort of cake, that I am employing poetic licence for and calling a silk road station cake.   Cherry/almond loaf cakes are commonly called station cakes, well this is a pistachio and cherry loaf with a rosewater glaze... it smelled every bit as good as it tasted, kind of a dense, moist pound cake type of thing...

I had the annual marmalade making session, during which I am horribly sticky and the house smells of a Spanish orange grove.  Two batches this year, a lighter orange and vanilla flecked version and  a darker, treacly type.

And finally! an entirely innapropriate tray of brownies, uh, it's for my B2/M2 project? I made them in my chicago metalware biscotti pan, and would say it's now my pan of choice for brownies/blondies, it's the right size for a 20cm square recipe (standard brownie size!) but makes sure everybody gets the chewy edge/gooey middle combo.  These were oreo brownies, from the bbc book Baking made Easy, it's a nice book, made two things from it now and they were both nice, the brownies are very tasty indeed.  Made them again today, no oreos though so I threw in some chocolate chips instead.

day 11, rare breed piglets from Whitmuir Organic Farm

day 10, some idiot left the fridge open

Day 9, Everything is going to be alright, I hope so!

Day 8, view from ocean terminal

Day 7, Marmalade in the making

Day 6, Frozen pond in Biggar, gorgeous but chilly!

Day 5, Scariest snowman ever? I think so...

Day 4, The Skandi Arctic (from Nassau, go figure)

365 and A-Z!

Day 3, Sourdough breads cooling...

This works for more than one thing of course! I love to multitask.  So, it's simultaneously a Bread from my A - Z, a B2/M2 and my picture for the day, I just love it when a plan comes together.

  Country Bread from Flour by Joanne Chang

First up, get this book, seriously, not one failure from it yet, everything has turned out great and been really easy to put together.  And, best of all it's in metric measurements! I love, love, love this!

So, for the bread sponge...

175g plain, unbleached flour

180g blood temperature water (neither hot nor cold to touch)

1.7g fresh yeast

 Mix 140g of the flour, the yeast and all the water together into a sloppy dough, cover and leave out at room temperature for 4 - 8 hours.

Add the remaining 35g flour and stir again, the dough with stiffen up a little.

Cover and place in the fridge overnight.

 Now you have your sponge starter, over time this starter gets better and better, I leave mine in the fridge until I want to bake then the night before feed it 175g flour and 180g water, stir and fridge it overnight so it's nice and active for the next day.  Take what I need for baking and return the pot to the fridge till next time.  I vary the flours I feed it with too, a bit of rye, spelt or gram flour makes for an extra delicious loaf.

Country bread recipe (this rather assumes you have a stand mixer... if not roll up your sleeves and prepare to get messy)

360g water at room temperature

280g plain flour

300g bread flour

340g bread sponge

pinch of fresh yeast

2 tsp salt (actually, I use a tablespoon)

1 tsp sugar (honey and malt syrup work too)

In your stand mixer stir together the bread flour, plain flour, yeast, water, sugar and salt, knead for a couple of minutes, until it forms a rough dough.

Leave this dough to rest for ten minutes... it helps with the texture.

Add the bread sponge and knead for about 7 minutes, it should clear the sides of the bowl and feel a little like an earlobe when you pinch a piece of dough between your fingers.  if it's too loose add a little more flour, gradually, you don't want to bake a brick!

Scrape your dough into a large, oiled bowl and leave to rise at room temperature for three hours.

When that time is up remove it from the bowl, divide the dough into two and shape into tight, round loaves.  At this point it's nice to flavour the loaves if you like, knead in some nuts and fruit or cubes of cheese... around 100g of each.

Scatter course cornmeal or semolina onto a tray and place the breads onto it, flour the loaves and leave them to rise for about two and a half hours.

Preheat your oven to 250 and place a sturdy metal tray in the bottom, boil the kettle!

When the oven is really hot (give it plenty of time to get up to temperature) pour the boiling water carefully into the metal tray.  Slash the tops of the loaves anyway you like, it gives a lovely crust and looks pretty.  Place the tray in the oven and bake for half an hour.

 Remove your gorgeous breads, gloat, buy a lot of butter.

Project 365, satisfying numerical opportunity missed...

Mmm, yes, 11/01/11, it greatly appealed to my hung up on numbers side, but then I failed totally to take any pictures! lol, 11/11/11 would be good too, but I'm not waiting till November, that would be crazy.  So, I guess I started project 365 on 12/01/11, it's not so bad really, I suppose.

 So, with no further ado...

Day 1, Rocking horse on our Christmas tree (which we were belatedly dismantling)

Day 2, Drag kings and Martha's pies, could there be a more obvious combination? Thank you Oxfam.

ooh.. blog laziness!

Oh yeah! been ages hasn't it? well, it has, because, because I failed on baking strike (it snowed, it hit -18, I baked) and didnt get to my goal weight before Christmas, because our pipes froze and it's dark and horrid for photos in Scotland in the winter and because I get discouraged very easily!

 But here I am, back at the wheel, helm, keyboard, whatever.  It's 2011 which is way, way better than 2010.  I have resolutions goals for the year, mostly I see to do with fitness and health, as well as a few financial and random others.  My first ones to work on are get to 10 stone something and start some new exercise. 

 I reported in at lighterlife tonight and weigh (fuck, damn, drat and oh no!) 11.10 stone, how on earth did that happen? actually, dont answer, I know how that happened!  Never mind, I can get it back off again.  Exercise, well, I'm thinking of trying a session with these nice folks tommorow, but my general aversion to being cold, wet and uncomfortable makes me question my sanity!

 I am reinstating my reward chart, stickers (shiny stars and rainbows) for everyday rewards and something else (that I totally have my eye on, I know my reward!) for when I hit that magic number.  And this time I will actually get it, I have a horrible track record of promising rewards then not following through.

 What else, I've baked a lot and photographed nothing, sadly... but this is set to change with list item 41 which is participate in project 365.  I love this idea and have my camera on charge tonight. 

 I crashed my car into a lampost and ate chocolate, hmm, still have food issues to tackle.  Not to mention the reasons for crashing! lol, I just thought "when I get to therapy next I'm going to have so much to say"

Dear A, I crashed my car into a lampost, because I was on a giddy high because I passed as a guy in a supermarket, was pondering this thing of oddness and wondering a little why it gave me a happy when I crashed, my immediate reaction was to eat a wispa bar (and would have eaten two if I'd had them) and get the giggles, followed by the blood sugar crash sobs, followed by the giggles (lather, rinse, repeat).

 Yes... well, we all have issues, right? right!

 And so to bed, there are no pretty pictures on this post, but that should improve considerably in the following days.